Thinking of You
by LifeIsJustAGame
Summary: Boy meets girl. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Happily ever after. That's how it goes, right? For Allison Argent, it's a tad more complicated than that. Songfic. M. F/F. Allydia


(Comparisons are easily done

Once you've had a taste of perfection)

Standard love story. Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. Boys asks out girl. Girl accepts. Happily ever after. That was how it was going to be. That was how Alison Argent thought she was going to fall in love.

Instead, she fell in love with the new girl in town.

(Like an apple hanging from a tree

I picked the ripest one

I still got the seed)

They're 16 and in love. It's not supposed to mean anything but it does and Allison Argent falls harder than she ever thought she could. Lydia's parents accept Allison's love for their daughter and invite her into their family.

Allison's parents are not as welcoming.

(You said move on

Where do I go?)

It drives a wedge between them; Allison's constant war with her parents, Lydia's insistence that they do not need the Argents' approval.

Now they are 17 and love isn't enough anymore.

(I guess second best

Is all I will know)

Allison leaves Lydia sat in their favourite spot, covered in tears and surrounded by fragments of their broken relationship.

('Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you)

Allison is 19 when she meets Scott. He is handsome, loyal, kind, and everything her parents have ever wanted for her.

They meet at college and fall madly in love, but there is one face Allison can't keep out of her mind.

(Thinking of you

What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes)

Allison sees Lydia in the street one day. They're both visiting family in Beacon Hills at the holidays. It's awkward and stilted and yet Allison can't get Lydia's beautiful brown eyes out of her head for weeks.

(You're like an Indian summer

In the middle of winter

Like a hard candy

With a surprise centre)

Scott and Allison. Allison and Scott. They've been together for three years, and living together for eighteen months. They have a cat called Stiles and a grumpy occasional lodger (Scott's older brother) called Derek. They're happy and domesticated, and when Scott finally plucks up the courage (with some help from Derek) to ask Allison to marry him, Allison is more than happy to say yes.

She cannot understand nor explain why Lydia's face appears in her mind when Scott slides the ring onto her shaking finger, but she doesn't dwell on it.

(How do I get better

Once I've had the best?

You said there's tons of fish in the water

So the waters I will test)

Alison is trying on wedding dresses when she finds out about Lydia's engagement. She has to excuse herself to the bathroom before she breaks something. It's irrational, but she wants to find Lydia's girlfriend- fiancé- and punch her in the throat. She shouldn't feel like this. It shouldn't get to her this much, but it does. Allison is happy with Scott, there's no denying that. So why should she want Lydia to be alone?

(He kissed my lips

I taste your mouth

He pulled me in

I was disgusted with myself)

The feeling grows worse, this gnawing hatred of Lydia's happiness. It begins to consume Allison, slowly but surely, until Lydia is all she thinks about. They bump into each other a few times in the town, but they only exchange dull small talk. Lydia looks more beautiful and joyful every time Allison sees her, and each time Allison hates herself a little bit more for thinking that.

('Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you)

Lydia's engagement ends a few months later, and Allison tries to suppress the glee that bubbles up inside her. The next time she sees Lydia, her usually bright brown eyes are dim and sombre, the skin around them puffy and red. Allison just wants to hold her, to smooth her strawberry-blond curls and promise her that everything is going to be fine. Instead, she walks away before they can make eye contact. It hurts to see that bright, intelligent, fierce girl now in so much pain, but Allison knows that her presence would likely do more harm than good.

(What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night)

Allison throws herself into the wedding plans. She convinces herself that the vows will be the magical cure to the stiring in her feelings for her ex-girlfriend.

The wedding date is only three weeks away when Allison remembers the invitations. They were sent out a few months ago, when Lydia was still engaged. Scott had mentioned sending her an invitation with a plus one, and Allison hardly had it in her to argue. She had been trying to be mature about it. Now she panics; will Lydia still come? Will she bring someone else? What if she leaves halfway through? What if she arrives late, a last minute thought? Allison tries not to let it get to her but it builds and builds until it feels like she is suffocating underneath the weight of it.

(Oh I wish that I

Was looking into...

You're the best

And yes I do regret)

Derek finds Allison sobbing on the kitchen floor, surrounded by wedding magazines and pictures of her and Lydia. He hesitates a few seconds before picking her up and placing her on the sofa. She continues to sob as he gathers the things from the floor and puts them on top of a cupboard, somewhere Scott will never look.

He sits quietly in front of Allison and takes her hand, still not speaking a work. He stays that way until she catches her breath. Allison knows she should explain herself but really, what else could she say? She hugs Derek, fiercely and gratefully, and then retreats to her room to cry some more.

(How I could let myself

Let you go)

The next time they meet its a week before the wedding, Allison is tired and overwhelmed, and Lydia is ridiculously beautiful. They're in the cafe where they had their first date, and Allison just can't catch her breath. She's about to speak, about to let everything just tumble from her stupid mouth, when Scott catches up to her and gently winds their fingers together. He makes small talk with Lydia about the wedding and her recent graduation, and Allison just can't keep her eyes off of her ex girlfriend. The only girl she's ever loved, the girl she wanted to run away with when she was 16 years old. It's terrifying, so Allison does what she does best; she runs.

(Now, now the lesson's learned

I touched it I was burned

Oh I think you should know)

It leads to an uncomfortable conversation with Scott, one that involves lots of tears and not as much yelling as she expected. She gives her ring back, apologising between broken sobs. They both know it's the right thing to do, and also one of the worst things she will ever do.

She packs a suitcase and promises to come back for the rest of her stuff once they've had some space. Allison loves Scott more than she ever thought she would, but it's just not enough any more.

('Cause when I'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you)

Allison books into the closest hotel and spends the afternoon cancelling the venue, catering, flowers and everything else. They lose almost all of their deposits, but Allison knows she has the easiest job. Scott offered to phone the guests, all Allison has to do is tell her parents. She leaves that to last, sterling herself for the grief she knows she will receive.

Her dad shows the beginnings of understanding, but her mother is outrageously angry and upset. Allison does her best to console her, but in the end she just states that it's her life to do with what she chooses, and then hangs up the phone. She'll pay for that later.

(What you would do if

You were the one

Who was spending the night)

It's 1am in the morning and Allison can't sleep. She tosses and turns but her brain is far to wired to settle down. She jumps out of bed, pulls on her clothes as fast as humanly possible, grabs her stuff, and heads out the door. She knows what she needs to do.

(Oh I wish that I

Was looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes

Looking into your eyes)

Alison takes a shaky breath and raps on the door. Three quick taps, two slow, three quick taps, then one final knock. There's a couple of seconds before the door swings open. Lydia's face is confused, but hope shines bright within her beautiful copper eyes.

"Why are you here, Allison?"

"Because I'm an idiot. I was an idiot then, and I'm still an idiot now."

Lydia grins, her face so full of emotion that Allison stumbles as she reaches for her.

(Oh won't you walk through

And bust in the door)

"Run away with me." Allison sighs as they lie together. She whispers it into Lydia's skin, so full of hope and promise. She repeats it, louder and louder until it's a fully formed question.

"I thought you'd never ask." Lydia laughs, high and bright, and warm and happy. Allison knows she's never heard anything more beautiful.

(And take me away

Oh no more mistakes)

They pack their bags, jump into Allison's little car, and just drive. They drive without purpose, without a destination, without a single goodbye. Allison does what she does best, and she runs. But this time, she takes her soul mate with her.

('Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...)


End file.
